Thursday, May 10, 2007

Day 17

Well children we have come to the end of our journey.

Unfortunately I am stopping the experiment early, I'm loosing too much weight and it's not good for me.

Well, I suppose this is the part of the blog
Where I say what I have learnt
(god I hate cheesy endings)

Ok so after all of this I guess I am going to have to hold my hands up... some aspects of this have really worked for me.


The not smoking is an obvious good point, those nasty cigarettes will still call to me on a drunken Saturday night, but I think I can resist temptation.

five a day:

I am so sick and tired of fruit, if I never see another piece of fruit again ill be a happy woman.
I don’t think that 5 pieces of fruit and veg is attainable at all.
If you cant make the lazy people of the world healthier, then your never going to get us all healthy.

eight hours of sleep:

The hours of sleep were insane, it just made me tired. To be honest I don’t think anyone could abide by this rule. Back to the drawing board with this one Tony.

Eight pints of water:

Water, ahh eight pints of water a day, surprisingly... attainable!
I quite agree that this is one good idea; Girls it makes you skin beautiful, you feel more energetic and it completely detoxifies your body.

Two units of alcohol:

The hardest and most painful part was the alcohol; I have struggled with this part of the experiment many times! But no scary drunken posts to read, so I must have done quiet well?
I think this is an extremely un attainable request, but a fair one to make.

Well Mr Blair if you’re reading (which I bet your not) I must say you’re not as bad as they make out.

I think I have learnt a lot about myself, and a lot about how far I can be pushed. I hope I have inspired some of you to try this experiment, and all of you to cut down on drinking and smoking.Lots of Government policies are flawed, and i think they have a lot to learn about the general public before they get this healthy living right.

As I say goodbye to all of you, we must also say good bye to Tony. He never controlled us, he tried, but failed miserably.

Mr Brown, take good care of us!

I end our journey together with a little quote to encapsulate this experiment.

' Life’s a bitch and then you die... so fuck the world and lets get high.'

Monday, May 7, 2007

Day 16

Well I'm back already.

Tonight was a complete bust, I was really excited till I got into the union and it hit me.

I don’t want to drink.

I am officially a rubbish student, but this healthy living thing is rubbing off on me more than I realised.

I thought about the consequences of drinking, I didn’t want to do that to myself.

I felt hollow; I don't get the rush I used to get from drinking. Its sounds corny but I feel complete; I don't need drink to feel whole.

I have got to say, I know I'm young, and there will be many drunken regrets to come, but I feel I have learnt a lot from this experiment more than I thought I would.

As much as I have whined about doing this I really feel I'm learning more about myself than about government failures.

Mr Blair. Well done.

Day 15

Once more into the breach my friends.

Yes that’s right I am trying the union again tonight, I think I should be more prepared, I found some really interesting ways to stop the amount you drink.

Guess where.... an alcohol abstinence website see my test results its

So apparently I should have smaller measures, keep putting my drink down and have a hearty meal before I start guzzling the vino!

Lets hope I can remember all this when I (accidentally) get shit faced tonight!

Come on a girls just gotta have fun! .... At least once a month.

Sunday, May 6, 2007

Day 14

Its my bed time... but I cant sleep again.

I feel about five years old again, when my mum used to send me to bed when it was still light.

I'm feeling really frustrated, figity. It also feels naughty!

I'm not tired, yet not quite awake.

Sleep doesn't come naturally anymore, I feel as if I'm forcing sleep (I swear its giving me premature wrinkles).

Right a new method is needed to ease my pain... hot semi skimmed milk me thinks.

How exciting.

Day 13

Good morning world.... or not.

I thought I'de try a new way to show you the real extent of day-to-day life on the plan.

So it’s 9.30 and officially disgusting o'clock for me.

Every morning is the same at the movement, get up and feel like shit.

For a few days I’ve felt like this, really heady and hung over.

I went to the loo a minute ago (ok too far but I have a point) and literally swayed to the door.

I feel like Tom after jerry hits him with that oversized ACME hammer, I wish I could see the little tweetie birds round my head, I feel like I should be able to.

I thought I’d turn into one of those people who jump out of bed with a smile and a bounce their step.

I think I’m getting too much sleep, I’m used to cramming till five in the morning and partying till dawn.

Right I have to go and pretend to be a real person now. Wish me luck

Friday, May 4, 2007

Day 12

(404 CALS!)

Ok so my food chart idea sucked.

But I have had a great realisation today; I’ve actually started to enjoy eating healthily.

I was in my local bakery today having my morning bacon sarnie when I asked for it 'on brown, with Flora, no fat'

Once the words had left my mouth the whole shop gave me a look of disgust, a bacon sarnie without soft white bread and thick butter and loadsa ketchup would have been the sin of all sins 10 days ago.

I have become one of those happy people you see outside Starbucks sipping a 'Chai tea latte', flicking their perfectly straightened hair and giving all you un happy people that pitiful white teeth grin.

When I go shopping I feel myself being sucked into the healthy eating section, a force bigger than me is at work here.

While I may look 'bangin' in my ripped denim mini skirt and cut off UGGS (such is the uniform of the happy people) I am sick and tired of worrying about my 5 a day my eight pints of water and my eight hours of sleep. I am however glad that some of the healthy attributes are rubbing off on me, I do rather like brown bread and wild rice isn't that bad either.

I think everyone should try these little improvements and see how they feel!!

Day 11


I seem to have begun a dangerous pattern of yo yo dieting.

Not in the sense of actually going on and off diets, but that I have started bingeing on food.

One day I will be really bad and eat something completely inappropriate for the experiment, the next, feeling guilty I will eat small extremely healthy meals.

Not only is this cycle exhausting, but as I found out by my good old friend Wikipedia its really bad for my health.

Apparently it can lower your immune system, but horrors of horrors it can actually make you fatter than when you started. It gets worse, the more you 'yo yo' the fatter you get on your stomach... you cant make this stuff up.

So to target this dangerous pattern, set to ruin my swimsuit season, I am making a chart.

Oh yes children, as I can't control what I put in my mouth (no laughing you dirty bastards) I am making a seven-day food chart.

I will write down a food plan for every day of the week and attempt to stick to it.